Chasing Emotionally Unavailable Partners

chasing emotionally unavailable partners

If you have a pattern of chasing emotionally unavailable partners, you may find yourself drawn to people who are distant, inconsistent, or unable to fully meet you. When something feels off, you might try harder seeking reassurance, over-giving, or holding onto the potential of what the relationship could be.

You may tell yourself that if you just show up in the “right” way, they’ll open up or choose you more fully. In the moment, this can feel like love, chemistry, or deep connection, but often, it keeps you stuck in a cycle of longing, uncertainty, and emotional highs and lows.

Over time, this pattern can leave you feeling anxious, unfulfilled, and questioning your worth, because you’re investing in connections where your needs aren’t consistently met.

The Unconscious Driver of The Inner Child

Often our relationship patterns are unconscious, and if we experienced inconsistent emotional availability growing up, we may carry this dynamic into adulthood.

Underneath, there is an inner child who deeply longs to feel chosen, loved, and emotionally met. But instead of receiving consistent care, you may find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners chasing, ruminating or trying to earn closeness through patience or hope.

Over time, this can leave you feeling anxious, unfulfilled, and emotionally depleted, because the love you’re seeking is not being consistently returned

The root of attachment patterns

The manifestations of attachment trauma are primarily subconscious, so talk therapy or psycho-education are insufficient in transforming the Chasing Emotionally Unavailable Partners pattern.

True transformation comes from healing the underlying pain and wounds beneath the pattern, so you can release hurt and emotional energy from your mind and nervous system and transform this pattern into a healthier pattern.

In my container Embodied Secure Attachment, we’ll work experientially together through to transform this Chasing Emotionally Unavailable Partners Pattern into the pattern of Vetting For Emotional Availability.

They’ll be transmissions designed to integrate this quality psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually, so they can be fully integrated into your mind, body and spirit

When you can INTEGRATE THE QUALITY OF VETTING YOU CAN:

Feel attracted to emotionally available, consistent partners
Ask the right questions to discover availability
Stop over-investing in people who can’t meet you
Trust what is actually being shown to you, not just potential
Notice the red flags of unavailability and set internal boundaries
Experience more stability, ease, and fulfilment in love

Transform 8 anxious attachment patterns

Not only will you learn to transform the caretaking pattern, but you’ll learn how to transform 8 other Anxious Attachment Patterns that contribute to anxious and insecure relationships.

You’ll be able to see the habitual patterns of the old paradigm of functioning and begin to grow and shift into your higher heart and embodied self.

They’ll be consciousness keys to seed a new paradigm of a relationship that can be healed, learned and integrated.

As you integrate the healing and absorb the teachings into your consciousness, an inner adventure will unfold and you’ll cultivate the expansion of presence, calmness, trust and surrender, and you’ll come back to a secure connection from the inside.

Our intention is that this program will support you through a period of healing & growth, so you can connect to yourself, create secure internal attachment and create deep and nourishing relationships.

If you’ve been seeking the keys to deeper intimacy with yourself and others, this is it.

Break free from unhealthy relationship patterns and cultivate deeper intimacy with yourself and others through radical self love.

MY SECURE ATTACHMENT IMPRINTING METHOD

After helping people heal their attachment patterns for over 5 years, I developed a method called Secure Attachment Imprinting.

This approach helps you:

• Befriend anxiety and attachment patterns
• Release stored emotional wounds
• Build secure attachment from within
• Integrate Embodied Secure Patterns into your mind, body, and nervous system

My Story

I’m Victoria Hockaday therapist for driven women who are successful at work but struggle in relationships and often ruminate and feel anxious about their partners.

They recognise that they have unconscious patterns they need to break and want to heal, cultivate internal secure attachment and consciously create relationships that are more fulfilling and supportive.

When I was embarking on my healing journey, I wanted to address my anxiousness, unworthiness, and I went on a spiritual quest to heal and build a secure relationship with myself.

IF YOU'RE CURIOUS ABOUT HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT patterns and moving towards secure attachment, BOOK A CONSULT

If this resonates and you’re ready to begin healing your anxious attachment patterns, book a Zoom consultation to discuss my 1:1 Embodied Secure Attachment Container.

What clients say

Testimonial

"I've had years of different therapy and nothing has ever got to the root of my issues like what you've introduced me to"

“I just wanted to thank you firstly, for all the incredible sessions. You’ve made a massive difference to my inner children. I’m understanding myself better and I’m checking in with them and some of them are pretty much healed now. So thank you, thank you. Like I’ve said before, I’ve had years of different therapy and nothing has ever got to the root of my issues like what you’ve introduced me to so thank you. I’m very, very grateful to have found you and for all the incredible help you gave me. And I’ve had almost 40 years of just not feeling good enough and my inner critic ruling and I’ve really learned to love my inner children and understand where they’re coming from and I’ve just got a very different relationship with myself now and I don’t feel petrified of people anymore”.

Testimonial

I was fortunate to walk this path with my therapist, Vicky - a presence so calm, grounded, and steady that she created the safety I needed to grow, untangle, and release.

Over the past year, I committed to one of the most transformative journeys of my life: healing my inner child. I was fortunate to walk this path with my therapist, Vicky -a presence so calm, grounded, and steady that she created the safety I needed to grow, untangle, and release. Through this journey, layers of fear began to dissolve. I confronted limiting beliefs I didn’t even know I carried. I let go of inner blockages that had shaped my reactions, my expectations, and the way I received the world. With each session, something softened… and something strengthened.
This work liberated me. I found myself living, working, and connecting from a clearer, freer place. My meaningful relationships became richer and more authentic. The questions that once weighed heavily on my heart finally had space to breathe – and the clarity that emerged was invaluable. Inner child work is not instant. It peels gently, a layer at a time, and each layer reveals a deeper truth. But the unfolding is worth it. I am deeply grateful for this experience. It was exceptional – a gift I didn’t know I needed and I would recommend it to anyone seeking deeper alignment, peace, and a fuller sense of self.