IFS Therapy for Stress: The Influence of Childhood Trauma on Stress Management
Stress is an unavoidable part of the human experience. It can manifest in various forms, such as workplace pressures, relationship challenges, or financial difficulties, personal admin, traveling and moving house.
Our early childhood experiences, particularly our interactions with primary caregivers, play a pivotal role in shaping our ability to manage stress and navigate life’s challenges.
A stable and secure childhood environment plays a critical role in shaping our ability to manage stress and navigate life’s challenges effectively. The foundation of love, support, and stability fosters the development of a well-regulated nervous system and a resilient internal system. However, an unstable and traumatic childhood can create a dysregulated nervous system that becomes overwhelmed by stress.
In this article, we’ll explore the impact of an unstable and traumatic childhood on stress management and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can help individuals who have experienced less stable environments heal and thrive.
The Benefits of a Secure and Stable Childhood
Growing up in a secure and stable environment often leads to the development of healthy self-esteem, confidence, and resilience. These qualities enable individuals to face life stressors and responsibilities with greater ease and adaptability.
A stable childhood fosters a balanced internal system, with parts working together harmoniously to navigate daily challenges without becoming overwhelmed or resorting to extreme protective measures.
Manager parts within their internal system can handle daily tasks like booking a flight, planning a travel trip, or paying a bill without becoming emotionally overwhelmed or immobilized. Hence why these individuals can maintain a sense of balance and well-being even during stressful situations as they have those personal foundations of family, support, stability and community in place.
Complex Trauma and Stress Management
For those who have experienced a very unstable childhood and have complex trauma where they experienced ongoing trauma of neglect, abuse, confusion of where home is and not having a place to go for refuge, will be carrying a lot of emotional trauma in their nervous system.
This often leads to an adult who becomes emotionally overwhelmed, immobilised when it comes to simple tasks and responsibilities.
For example, if they have important duties such as booking a flight or an appointment, they might consciously know they need to plan ahead, book an appointment and book their flight.
But if they have a history of instability, neglect, abandonment and abuse, then these simple tasks can trigger their complex trauma and internal system that carries the wounds of abandonment, abuse, neglect, helplessness, powerlessness and feeling immobilised.
This is why stress for trauma survivors of complex trauma can be particularly challenging. The stress or pressure from the external world is triggering the internal system and the younger parts in the system that felt abandoned, helpless, powerless and immobilised.
Stress and complex trauma understood through the lens of IFS
These extreme emotions will be repressed and stored in the subconscious mind. In internal family systems therapy, these are called “exiles”.
In an attempt to manage the emotional pain being triggered, the internal system or subconscious mind will develop coping mechanisms and behaviours in order to prevent the system from feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Manager parts
Someone who has felt immobilised by their lack of secure and stable childhood, neglect and abuse, may develop “avoidant parts” that step in to distract from the the emotional pain. A common example of this may be a “procrastinator part” that procrastinates and leaves things to the last minute, a “self-neglecting part” that holds off washing their clothes or maintaining healthy hygiene whilst moving because the stress of moving is triggering a trauma of the past.
The internal family systems model would consider this procrastinator part and self-neglecting part “managers” because they’re protectively working to reduce emotional pain and distress triggered by stress.
These protector parts engage in behaviors such as procrastination or neglecting personal needs to shield the individual from potential emotional overwhelm or re-experiencing past trauma. Their ultimate goal is to help the individual cope with stress and maintain a sense of safety, even if their methods may not be the most adaptive or effective in the long run.
Firefighter parts
Another example may be that someone is anxious about departing from their current location to go to another and this stress of moving can bring up anxiety of the past.
So they may have a substance-abuse part that may engage in substances in an attempt to numb the anxiety. They may also have an overspending part to distract them from their anxiety of “uprooting” and engage in shopping to get an emotional high.
If they start to feel anxious and overwhelmed when travelling, their “dissociated part” may become active to disconnect from their emotions and feelings. They may become more spaced out and disconnected from their body and struggle to read and understand maps, read train times and meet appointments, because their subconscious mind is flooded and overwhelmed by the anxiety of the past.
The internal family systems model would consider this substance-abuse part, self-neglecting part and dissociating part “firefighters” because they’re protectively working to reduce emotional pain and distress triggered by stress.
IFS Therapy for Stress
IFS therapy for stress offers a powerful approach for dealing with stress better and healing the distress caused by complex trauma so a person has a more stable and balanced system to manage stress, change and uncertainty.
By identifying and understanding the roles of different parts within their internal system, individuals can develop self-compassion, promote internal dialogue, and empower their core Self.
As the Self becomes more present and confident, parts that engage in avoidant or self-neglecting behaviors can feel more understood and less threatened. With the support of an IFS therapist, individuals can learn to navigate stress and complex trauma with greater resilience, fostering a more balanced internal system and a healthier relationship with their past experiences.
So if we were to break down how IFS therapy for stress would help a person to heal their inner system, these would be the main steps:
1. Connect with parts
Begin by identifying and connecting with the various parts within yourself, acknowledging their presence and sensations and let them know you’re curious to get to know them better.
For example, you would identify and connect with the parts that engage in avoidant behaviors, as well as the part that dissociates.
You can practice developing empathy and understanding for these parts, acknowledging their protective roles in shielding the system from emotional pain.
2. Befriend Parts
Develop empathy and understanding for each part, recognizing their protective roles and offering validation and support. This helps to establish a trusting relationship between the parts and the core Self. This step is important to mindfully separate from protective parts, so that there is internal space in the system to mindfully support the exile parts that carry emotional trauma.
3. Unburden Parts
Assist the parts in releasing their emotional burdens, negative beliefs, and painful memories. This can be achieved through compassionate witnessing, processing emotions, and reframing past experiences in a more supportive light.
Once a trusting relationship has been established with the avoidant and dissociative parts, you would begin to work with the exile parts, such as the abandoned and abused child. This involves witnessing their emotional pain, reparenting them and releasing their emotional burdens, negative beliefs, and painful memories through compassionate awareness and mindful emotional processing.
4. Integrate Parts
The final phase is about facilitating cooperation and harmony by cultivating new capacities for the protector parts and exiles. For example, if there is an immobilised child due to experiences of neglect, abandonment and abuse, then it would be about asking the exiles “what new capacities do you want to give your immobilised child?”. These might be stability, support, safety, groundedness and calmness. Once the exiles are carrying supportive capacities, then the same process can be done for the protector parts. Now the protector parts know the exiles are lighter and more resilient, they can release their roles and take on other capacities. For example, the dissociated part may take on the capacities of calmness and presence.
Summary
The IFS framework offers a powerful approach to understanding and healing the impacts of stress and complex trauma on our internal systems. By identifying, connecting with, and befriending the various parts within ourselves, we can begin to untangle the intricate web of emotional pain, negative beliefs, and protective behaviors that may have developed in response to adverse experiences.
Through the process of unburdening protected parts and promoting integration within our internal systems, we can foster greater emotional resilience and well-being. In doing so, we move toward a more harmonious and supportive relationship with ourselves, equipping us with the tools necessary to navigate life’s challenges and stress with renewed confidence and self-compassion. If this resonates and you’d like to begin befriending your parts, go to my home page to view my current availability to book a session.