12 Traits of a Narcissist: Common Narcissist Traits and How to Deal with Them
Narcissism is a complex personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Understanding the traits of a narcissist can help you identify these behaviors and patterns in your relationships, both personal and professional.
How to identify a narcissist
Narcissism can be defined as an excessive focus on oneself, often leading to the disregard for the needs and feelings of others. While it’s normal for individuals to exhibit occasional narcissistic behavior, true narcissists consistently overlook the impact of their actions on those around them.
It’s crucial to recognize that narcissism is a trait that exists on a spectrum. Narcissistic behaviors can range from mild to severe, with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) representing the extreme end of the spectrum.
Not everyone displaying narcissistic traits necessarily has NPD, as their behaviors may be less pervasive and disruptive than those diagnosed with the disorder.
Understanding narcissism as a spectrum allows us to acknowledge that people may exhibit varying degrees of self-involvement and empathy, enabling more nuanced conversations about mental health and interpersonal relationships. Recognising the distinctions between narcissistic traits and NPD can also help individuals seek appropriate support and resources for their specific needs and challenges.
The 12 traits of a narcissist
Narcissism, both as a trait and in the context of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), encompasses various characteristics.
Here are 12 common traits observed in individuals displaying narcissistic tendencies:
- Exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Expectation of praise, even for minimal effort or no effort at all
- Preoccupation with success, power, or money, and an intense desire for greatness
- Craving power and control
- Only seeking the company of high-status or high-achieving individuals
- Requiring constant attention and admiration from others
- Entitled behavior, expecting special treatment and holding high expectations for others
- Exploiting others for personal gain
- Lack of empathy and inability to understand others’ emotions or experiences
- Envy of others or the belief that others envy them
- Arrogance and haughty attitudes or behaviors
- Inability to maintain healthy and balanced relationships
Identifying and understanding these traits can provide valuable insight into the behaviors and interpersonal dynamics associated with narcissism. Recognizing these patterns can help individuals navigate relationships and seek appropriate support when needed.
Let’s break down the 12 Traits of a Narcissist
Exaggerated sense of self-importance
One of the most prominent characteristics of narcissism is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Individuals displaying this trait often hold an inflated view of their abilities, accomplishments, and overall self-worth. They may believe they are exceptional or unique, and as a result, expect others to recognize and cater to their perceived superiority.
This grandiose sense of self-importance can lead narcissists to pursue positions of power, influence, or status, while dismissing the value and contributions of those around them. In essence, the exaggerated sense of self-importance serves as a protective shield, masking underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities that may fuel their need for constant validation and admiration.
Expectation of praise, even for minimal effort or no effort at all
Narcissistic individuals often possess an insatiable desire for praise and admiration, even when their actions or achievements do not merit such acclaim. This expectation of constant validation, regardless of effort exerted, stems from their grandiose self-image and their belief in their inherent superiority. They may expect to be lauded for merely showing up or participating, without demonstrating exceptional performance or results.
The incessant need for praise reinforces their self-importance and perpetuates the cycle of seeking external validation. Consequently, they may struggle to accept criticism, setbacks, or failures, as these challenge their fragile self-image and perceived omnipotence. The expectation of unwarranted praise is a defining feature of narcissism, reflecting an unhealthy dependence on external acknowledgment and approval.
Preoccupation with success, power, or money, and an intense desire for greatness
Individuals with narcissistic tendencies often exhibit a preoccupation with success, power, and financial gain. They view these external markers as indicators of their worth and superiority, becoming relentless in their pursuit of such accomplishments. This fixation can stem from a deep-seated need for control, recognition, and admiration. As they equate success with personal value, narcissists may go to great lengths to achieve their goals, sometimes resorting to manipulation or exploitation. Their single-minded focus on power and financial gain can overshadow other aspects of their lives, potentially damaging relationships and hindering personal growth. Ultimately, the preoccupation with success, power, and money serves as a means to fuel their grandiose self-image and assert dominance in the eyes of others.
Craving power and control
A fundamental aspect of narcissism is the craving for power and control, which stems from the desire to maintain an inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissistic individuals thrive on the ability to influence and dominate others, often perceiving relationships as a means to exert their authority. This intense desire for control can manifest in various aspects of their lives, including personal relationships, professional pursuits, and social interactions. By exerting power over others, narcissists reinforce their grandiose self-image and satisfy their need for superiority. However, this relentless pursuit of control can lead to strained relationships, conflict, and a lack of genuine emotional connections. Ultimately, the craving for power and control serves as a protective mechanism for the fragile ego of the narcissist, fueling a cycle of manipulation and dominance.
Only seeking the company of high-status or high-achieving individuals
Narcissistic individuals often gravitate toward high-status or high-achieving individuals, seeking validation and reinforcement of their own grandiose self-image. They tend to view these individuals as a reflection of their own accomplishments, status, or success, and as a result, strive to surround themselves with individuals they perceive as “elite” or “special”.
This tendency can stem from a deep-seated insecurity or fear of being seen as less than, motivating them to seek validation through association with those they perceive as “better” or more accomplished. However, this preoccupation with status and achievement can lead to superficial relationships, as the narcissist prioritizes external markers of success over genuine emotional connections.
Moreover, the constant need for validation and affirmation can result in a sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction, as the narcissist overlooks the value and potential of others who may not fit their narrow criteria for acceptance.
Requiring constant attention and admiration from others
Individuals with narcissistic tendencies often require constant attention and admiration from others as a means to maintain their inflated sense of self-importance and fragile ego. They seek validation through external recognition and praise, relying on the admiration of others to bolster their sense of self-worth.
This constant need for admiration can manifest in various ways, such as constantly seeking compliments, exaggerating their accomplishments, or demanding praise for even the smallest tasks. Narcissists may also resort to manipulative tactics, such as guilt-tripping or flattery, to extract admiration from others. Despite their outwardly confident demeanor, the narcissist’s insatiable desire for attention stems from deep-seated insecurities and a fear of being forgotten or overlooked.
However, their relentless pursuit of admiration can often lead to strained relationships, as others may grow weary of the narcissist’s constant demands for validation. Ultimately, the narcissist’s dependence on external affirmation reflects a fundamental disconnection from their authentic self and a lack of internal validation.
Entitled behavior, expecting special treatment and holding high expectations for others
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit a sense of entitlement, expecting special treatment and holding unrealistic expectations for others. They may feel that they deserve to be given preferential treatment, and that others should automatically cater to their desires or needs.
This entitled attitude can manifest in various ways, such as believing they should be granted special privileges or exceptions to rules, or expecting others to prioritize their wants and needs above all else.
The narcissist’s inflated sense of self-importance leads them to believe that their desires take precedence over those of others, resulting in an unrealistic and often unfair view of how they should be treated. They may become frustrated or upset when their expectations are not met, often perceiving it as a personal slight or rejection. However, this entitlement can lead to resentment, frustration, and strained relationships, as others may feel burdened or manipulated by the narcissist’s unrealistic demands. Ultimately, the narcissist’s sense of entitlement reflects a fundamental lack of empathy and inability to acknowledge the needs and perspectives of others.
Exploiting others for personal gain
Narcissistic individuals may engage in exploitation of others for personal gain, driven by a need to satisfy their desires or advance their own interests at any cost. They may view relationships and interactions as transactional, using others to achieve their goals without considering the impact on those they exploit. This behavior can manifest in various ways, such as taking credit for others’ work, manipulating or deceiving others for personal gain, or utilizing relationships solely for their own benefit.
Narcissists may also become envious of others’ success or resources and seek to exploit them to achieve their own goals. The narcissist’s intense focus on their own desires and advancement can lead to a disregard for the well-being or needs of others.
This lack of empathy and willingness to prioritize their own interests above all else can damage relationships, damage reputations, and potentially lead to negative consequences. Ultimately, the narcissist’s exploitative behavior reflects a self-centered and short-sighted mindset that prioritizes personal gain over genuine connections and integrity.
Lack of empathy and inability to understand others’ emotions or experiences
One of the hallmark characteristics of narcissism is a significant lack of empathy, which hinders the ability to understand or connect with others’ emotions and experiences.
Narcissistic individuals often struggle to comprehend or acknowledge the feelings and perspectives of others, viewing the world primarily through their own lens. This self-centered outlook can result in a tendency to dismiss, minimize, or invalidate others’ emotions, as the narcissist prioritizes their own experiences and desires above all else.
The inability to empathize with others can lead to a superficial and exploitative approach to relationships, as the narcissist may view others as a means to fulfill their own needs rather than as individuals with their own emotions and experiences. Moreover, this lack of empathy can result in a sense of isolation and disconnection from others, as the narcissist struggles to form genuine, meaningful relationships based on mutual understanding and emotional connection. Ultimately, the narcissist’s inability to understand or connect with others’ emotions reflects a significant deficit in emotional intelligence and a profound disconnection from the shared human experience.
Envy of others or the belief that others envy them
Narcissistic individuals may experience intense feelings of envy toward others, or believe that others are envious of them, as a way to reinforce their grandiose self-image. This envious mindset stems from the narcissist’s deep-seated need for validation and a sense of superiority over others. The belief that others are envious of them may provide a sense of gratification or a confirmation of their perceived specialness, bolstering their sense of self-worth.
Alternatively, when the narcissist encounters individuals they perceive as more successful, attractive, or talented, they may experience feelings of envy and resentment. The narcissist may engage in behaviors such as discrediting or belittling others, or attempting to minimize their accomplishments in an attempt to quell their own feelings of inadequacy or insecurity.
However, the narcissist’s preoccupation with comparing themselves to others and seeking external validation can be detrimental to their overall well-being and relationships. It is crucial for individuals to recognize their own strengths and focus on personal growth, rather than relying on external comparisons and validation to define their self-worth.
Arrogance and haughty attitudes or behaviors
Narcissism often manifests in arrogant and haughty behaviors, which can result in the formation of negative perceptions of individuals with these traits. Arrogance is characterized by a sense of superiority and entitlement, which can lead to disrespectful and dismissive interactions with others.
Narcissistic individuals may have an inflated sense of self-importance, a tendency to exaggerate their accomplishments or abilities, and a belief that they are exceptional and more deserving than others. They may also engage in condescending or patronizing behaviors, such as belittling or criticizing others, or making sarcastic or snide remarks to highlight their own perceived superiority.
These behaviors can create an air of superiority that can be off-putting and damaging to relationships, as arrogance is often perceived as a form of disrespect and a lack of consideration for others. Additionally, narcissistic individuals who demonstrate arrogant and haughty behaviors may struggle to receive feedback or constructive criticism, as their inflated sense of self can prevent them from recognizing their flaws and areas for improvement.
Inability to maintain healthy and balanced relationships
Maintaining healthy and balanced relationships can be challenging for individuals with narcissistic tendencies due to their self-centered and entitled behavior. The inability to empathize, prioritize others’ needs, and maintain authentic connections can result in strained or dysfunctional relationships, leaving the narcissist feeling isolated or misunderstood. The inability to foster mutually fulfilling relationships can stem from a lack of reciprocity, as narcissistic individuals may prioritize their own needs, manipulate or exploit others, or disregard their emotional impact.
They may struggle to create balanced dynamics in their interactions, as their desire for admiration and validation can override their ability to be genuine and compassionate towards others. Narcissistic individuals may also experience difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships due to their tendency to focus on external validation and comparisons, rather than forming meaningful emotional connections.
Additionally, narcissistic individuals may struggle to acknowledge their role in relationship challenges, placing blame on others or external factors rather than taking responsibility for their actions. Overcoming these difficulties requires a willingness to recognize and address narcissistic tendencies, prioritize empathy and reciprocity, and develop authentic and balanced relationships grounded in mutual respect and genuine connection.
You can read my other articles on narcissism here
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