Treating Social Anxiety Disorder Through Internal Family Systems
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) can be a challenging condition, causing significant distress and impacting various aspects of an individual’s life. Fortunately, effective treatments are available to help people manage and overcome social anxiety, enabling them to live more fulfilling lives. In this article, we’ll explore Social Anxiety Disorder through the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, discussing its symptoms, causes, and how IFS can be used as a treatment approach.
What is Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)?
Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as social phobia, is a mental health condition characterized by persistent and intense fear or anxiety related to social situations. Individuals with SAD often worry about being judged, rejected, or humiliated in social settings, leading to avoidance behaviors and significant distress.
Common Symptoms of SAD
- Excessive fear or anxiety in social situations
- Avoidance of social events or interactions
- Physical symptoms such as blushing, sweating, or trembling
- Difficulty making eye contact or speaking in public
- Low self-esteem and negative self-talk
What Causes SAD?
The exact causes of Social Anxiety Disorder are not fully understood, but several factors may contribute to its development, including:
- Genetic predisposition
- Environmental influences (e.g., childhood experiences, parenting styles)
- Learned behaviors or thinking patterns
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic approach that views an individual’s internal world as a complex system of various parts or sub-personalities.
These parts may carry emotional pain, negative beliefs, or engage in protective behaviors that can cause distress and inner conflict. IFS aims to help individuals understand and heal their internal system by developing self-compassion, promoting internal dialogue, and empowering their core Self.
Understanding SAD Through Internal Family Systems
From an IFS perspective, Social Anxiety Disorder can be understood as a result of protective parts trying to shield vulnerable, exiled parts from emotional pain or distress related to social situations.
For example, a part that avoids social situations or engages in negative self-talk may be trying to protect the exiled part from feeling rejected or humiliated.
Internal family systems posits that social anxiety can be understood as a configuration of parts in the mind interacting with each other which create symptoms of social anxiety.
Internal family systems has a compassionate and non-pathologizing approach to treating social anxiety disorder, as it views that there are “no bad parts” and parts have a positive intent to protect the system from being hurt.
When it comes to treating social anxiety disorder through IFS therapy, IFS posits that social anxiety disorder has strong manager parts that preemptively make them avoid social situations where exiles might get hurt and re-experience pain from the past.
Manager parts in Social Anxiety Disorder
Manager parts in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy play a role in protecting an individual from emotional pain and maintaining a sense of control in response to stressors or potential threats. In the context of Social Anxiety Disorder, some common examples of manager parts may include:
- The Inner Critic: This part engages in negative self-talk, constantly criticizing and pointing out the individual’s perceived flaws or shortcomings in social situations. The Inner Critic’s goal is to motivate the individual to avoid social situations or improve their performance to prevent rejection or embarrassment.
- The Planner: This part is focused on anticipating potential social situations and creating detailed plans or strategies to navigate them safely. The Planner aims to reduce anxiety by controlling every aspect of social interactions, often leading to rigid behaviors and inflexibility.
- The Perfectionist: This part holds high standards and believes that the individual must always perform flawlessly in social situations to avoid criticism or judgment. The Perfectionist can create unrealistic expectations and lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure.
- The Avoider: This part encourages the individual to stay away from social situations altogether, believing that avoidance is the safest way to prevent emotional distress. The Avoider may lead to isolation and reinforce social anxiety over time.
- The Rule Follower: This part is obsessed with social norms and expectations, constantly monitoring the individual’s behavior to ensure they don’t make any mistakes or appear “weird” in social situations. The Rule Follower aims to prevent rejection or judgment but can also limit self-expression and authenticity.
These manager parts have protective intentions, but their extreme behaviors can exacerbate social anxiety symptoms. Effective social anxiety disorder treatment, such as IFS would help people to get to know their manager parts with compassion to help soften symptoms of anxiety.
Firefighter parts in Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment
Firefighter parts in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy are reactive and impulsive, stepping in when the individual is overwhelmed by emotional pain or stress. Their role is to provide immediate relief or distraction from the distressing emotions, often through self-destructive or compulsive behaviors.
In the context of Social Anxiety Disorder, some common examples of firefighter parts may include:
The Numb-Out: This part encourages the individual to disengage or dissociate from their emotions during social situations. The
Numb-Out may lead to a sense of detachment or emptiness and prevent the person from fully experiencing and processing their feelings.
The Substance Abuser: This part turns to drugs, alcohol, or other substances to cope with the overwhelming anxiety and distress associated with social situations. The Substance Abuser seeks temporary relief through substance use, which can lead to addiction and other health issues.
The Self-Harm Engager: This part may resort to self-harm behaviors, such as cutting or other forms of self-injury, to distract from emotional pain or regain a sense of control in the face of overwhelming social anxiety.
The Binge-Eater: This part seeks comfort in food and engages in binge-eating behaviors to cope with social anxiety. The Binge-Eater may lead to unhealthy eating patterns, weight fluctuations, and further emotional distress.
The Risk-Taker: This part encourages impulsive and potentially dangerous behaviors to escape or distract from social anxiety. The Risk-Taker may engage in reckless activities, such as risky sexual behaviors, gambling, or engaging in unsafe situations.
These firefighter parts aim to alleviate immediate emotional distress but often create additional problems in the long run. Through IFS therapy, individuals can learn to understand the roles of these parts and their positive intent to keep them emotionally safe.
Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment with IFS
Social anxiety disorder treatment with IFS would help a person to unblend from their parts, bring self energy to the protector, validate and understand the protector, get permission from the part to get some space and explore the exile parts underneath.
Let’s break this down:
1. Identify and Connect with Parts
Work with an IFS therapist to recognize and understand the roles of various parts within your internal system. For example, you might identify a “Critic” part that engages in negative self-talk before social events or an “Avoider” part that encourages you to stay away from social situations. Establish open communication with these parts and acknowledge their presence, emotions, and intentions.
2. Develop Self-Compassion
Cultivate empathy and understanding for each part, acknowledging their protective intentions and validating their experiences. In the case of the “Critic,” recognize that its goal is to protect you from potential embarrassment or rejection. Similarly, the “Avoider” part is trying to shield you from the anxiety associated with social situations. Offer support and understanding to these parts, letting them know you appreciate their efforts.
3. Unburden Parts
Assist exiled parts in releasing emotional pain, negative beliefs, and past traumas through compassionate witnessing and processing. For example, connect with the “Insecure Child” part that holds memories of past social failures or rejection. Provide a safe space for this part to express its emotions and share its story. As the “Insecure Child” feels heard and understood, it can begin to release its emotional burdens.
4. Integrate parts
In this step, the goal is to encourage parts to work together in a balanced and supportive manner, fostering greater self-confidence and resilience in social situations. To achieve this, you can facilitate the integration of new capacities into existing parts.
For example, integrate the qualities of self-acceptance, confidence, and the freedom to make mistakes into the “Critic” part. By doing so, the “Critic” can evolve into an “Inner Cheerleader” that provides support and encouragement instead of harsh criticism. This transformation allows the part to continue its protective role while contributing positively to your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
Similarly, work with the “Insecure Child” part to integrate the capacities of resilience and self-worth. By addressing the emotional pain and negative beliefs held by this part, it can become more confident and secure, no longer overwhelmed by past experiences of rejection or failure.
As you continue to integrate these new capacities into your internal system, you’ll notice a shift in how you perceive and respond to social situations. Your transformed parts will now work collaboratively to foster greater self-confidence and emotional resilience, enabling you to navigate social interactions with more ease and authenticity.
After unblending and integrating, people in my practice often feel lighter and more confident, and they can begin to slowly introduce socialising back into their life and they have more resilience and access their inner resources to cope with social situations.
Advantages of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers several advantages as a therapeutic approach for addressing various mental health concerns. Here are some key benefits:
Non-pathologizing: IFS views individuals’ experiences and behaviors as the result of protective parts within their internal system, rather than labeling them as inherently dysfunctional or disordered. This approach fosters self-compassion and understanding, reducing self-blame and shame.
Holistic perspective: IFS acknowledges the complexity and interconnectedness of an individual’s internal system, addressing the needs of various parts in a more comprehensive manner than some other therapeutic approaches.
Empowerment of the individual: IFS encourages individuals to develop their core Self, a compassionate and confident presence that can lead the internal system toward healing and growth. This emphasis on self-leadership promotes personal empowerment and autonomy.
Flexibility and adaptability: IFS can be integrated with other therapeutic modalities and tailored to meet the unique needs of each individual. This flexibility allows for a personalized and effective treatment experience.
Lasting change: By addressing the root causes of emotional pain and negative beliefs within the internal system, IFS can facilitate deep and long-lasting change. This approach aims to promote overall emotional well-being, resilience, and personal transformation.
Improved relationships: As individuals become more self-aware and compassionate toward their own internal parts, they often develop greater empathy and understanding toward others. This can lead to healthier relationships and enhanced social connections.
In summary, Internal Family Systems therapy offers a compassionate, holistic, and empowering approach to mental health treatment. By addressing the needs of various parts within an individual’s internal system, IFS can promote deep healing, personal growth, and lasting positive change.
How to begin supporting your social anxiety
When confronted with a social situation that triggers anxiety, begin by adopting a dual-minded state. This allows you to observe and interact with the anxious part of yourself from a compassionate, curious perspective.
1. Connect with the anxious part
Gently ask yourself, “Which part of me is feeling anxious in this moment?” Approach this inquiry with a sense of warmth and openness, allowing space for the anxious part to emerge.
2. Befriend the anxious part
As you become aware of the anxious part, make it feel welcome and appreciated. Acknowledge its presence and thank it for trying to protect you. ”Thank you for protecting me, I see you”.
3. Explore the anxious part
With a compassionate tone, ask the anxious part, “What are you worried about in this social situation?” Listen attentively to its concerns and fears.
For instance, if the anxious part is concerned about an upcoming social event, delve deeper into its specific worries:
- Anxious Part: “I’m worried about being rejected at the party”.
- Compassionate Self: “If you stand around looking stupid, what do you fear might happen next?”
- Anxious Part: “I’ll feel worthless and rejected.”
4. Validate the anxious feelings
Extend compassion and understanding to the anxious part by validating its fears. Here you can say “its ok to be anxious”, “it makes sense why you might fear rejection”. This is important because it’s important that your exiles are younger versions of you that didn’t get sufficient support and reassurance.
When a child is anxious and distressed, usually a parent will comfort and soothe the child and infuse confidence in them. However, when we’ve not had that emotional support and parents with healthy self-esteem to model, then we grow up with unhealthy self-esteem.
But self-soothing this part of you, helps this part of you to feel seen and understood, and this process of emotional validation gives this younger version of you the love and support they need to feel emotionally safe.
You can also remind the part of its inherent worth and your acceptance of it. Something like “it’s ok, I accept you”, “as long as I accept you and you accept you, then that’s all that matters”. “Self-acceptance is more important for self-confidence”. “If they don’t accept you, then maybe they’re not your people anyway.”
Sometimes our younger parts need to be reprogrammed and reparented as they have negative programming from parents that may have disempowered us.
For example, as a child, perhaps we had confidence and vitality but we had an emotionally immature parent who was threatened by our confidence and was unaware of their impact of their own trauma in the way they were parenting us.
As a result, they may have had critical parts that criticised us and belittled us, so over time we learned to exile our confident self or expressive self, because we learned that it was not safe.
Conclusion
Social anxiety disorder treatment requires compassion and trauma-informed therapy. Internal family systems therapy offers a powerful approach to understanding social anxiety and getting to the root of the anxiety.
By exploring the roles of different parts within the internal system, individuals can develop self-compassion, heal emotional wounds, heal their nervous system and transform their relationship with social situations.
If you or someone you know struggles with social anxiety and you’d like support with healing to reduce emotional distress, you can book a session below.