The 8Cs of Self in IFS Therapy: The Doorway To Wholeness
Have you ever felt like you’ve lost touch with who you truly are?
Maybe life’s hardships or past trauma have left you feeling disconnected from your authentic self. You’re not alone.
Many of us experience this sense of disconnection at some point in our lives, and it can leave us feeling lost, unsure of ourselves, and filled with self-doubt.
But what if there was a way to rediscover and reconnect with that core part of ourselves that remains strong, wise, and compassionate, even in the face of adversity?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy believes that we all possess a powerful “Self” within us—our seat of consciousness that is inherently unbreakable, even when faced with life’s challenges.
However, difficult experiences and trauma can lead us to rely on protective parts of ourselves that shield us from pain. Over time, these parts may dominate our lives, causing us to lose confidence and feel as though something is fundamentally wrong with us.
Fortunately, IFS posits that healing is possible through the transformative power of love and compassion.
By embracing and nurturing the 8 C’s of Self—Curiosity, Calm, Clarity, Connectedness, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, and Compassion—we can rediscover our inner strength and begin to heal the parts of ourselves that have been hurt.
What are the 8C’s of self?
The 8 C’s of Self in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy are essential qualities that reside within each of us, serving as the foundation for healing and personal growth. These eight characteristics include:
Curiosity: An open and inquisitive mindset that allows us to explore our inner parts and develop a deeper understanding of their experiences and needs.
Calm: A sense of tranquility and peace that fosters trust and safety within our internal system, enabling us to navigate emotional challenges with clarity.
Clarity: A clear and focused state of mind that empowers us to make informed decisions and cultivate healthier relationships with our inner parts and others.
Connectedness: A feeling of unity and belonging within our internal system, promoting integration and a sense of wholeness.
Confidence: A belief in our inner wisdom and resilience, providing the strength to face life’s challenges with self-assurance and empowerment.
Courage: The bravery and determination to confront difficult emotions and experiences, fostering personal growth and emotional healing.
Creativity: An adaptable and resourceful approach to problem-solving within our internal system, encouraging new perspectives and solutions.
Compassion: A nurturing and empathetic environment for our inner parts, promoting self-love and emotional well-being.
By cultivating these qualities within ourselves, we can strengthen our connection with our true Self and embrace the transformative power of love and compassion on our healing journey.
Going beyond the 8Cs of Self
While the 8 C’s of Self in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provide a robust foundation for cultivating self-energy, it is essential to recognise that healing is a complex and multifaceted process.
One of the shortfalls of IFS therapy is that it argues that all we need to heal ourselves is self.
I would argue from my own personal and professional experience that we still need support and guidance with establishing a strong sense of self and this is something I do with my clients.
In my personal journey with IFS therapy, I discovered that integrating additional therapeutic approaches and practices was crucial to building a strong sense of self and building my self-confidence.
One key element in my healing process was seeking spiritual and emotional guidance from my therapist. When it came to connecting with my parts they had a lot of questions and unmet needs that needed to be addressed.
I needed help with addressing isolation, finding community, setting boundaries, asserting myself with others, creating inner security, finding my purpose, finding my core values and connecting to external figures of support until I felt supported enough to access my adult self.
One thing my therapist said that I will never forget was “you can’t choose your external family but you can create an inner family”.
This holistic and spiritual approach helped me to build an inner family of support, guidance and resources to feel more emotionally resourced to cope with life’s challenges.
Her guidance helped me learn many skills and coping mechanisms that my parts needed, such as self-soothing, grounding, developing my intuition, developing a toxicity radar, setting standards for relationships and connecting to my future self.
By incorporating spirituality into our sessions, I was able to develop this inner strength, which helped my parts feel more supported.
We also did energy healing, somatic therapy techniques and shamanism rituals which helped me to process grief, manage my anxiety and release hurt and anxious energy from the body.
By combining the 8 C’s of Self with these additional practices, I discovered a more comprehensive and personalised path toward healing.
This experience has shown me the importance of remaining open to various therapeutic modalities and tailoring one’s approach to meet unique individual needs. In doing so, we can create a well-rounded foundation for personal growth and emotional well-being.
I can help you heal with internal family systems therapy
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a compassionate, nurturing approach that acknowledges and validates the various parts of your internal system.
By working together, we will explore these parts, recognising their unique roles, emotions, and motivations.
This empathetic exploration allows you to validate the experiences of your inner parts, particularly those that have been hurt or feel misunderstood. By fostering a supportive environment, these parts can feel safe enough to share their stories and express their needs.
As you develop a deeper understanding of your internal system, you can begin to address the conflicts and pain that may have arisen from childhood trauma or other difficult experiences. This healing journey encourages self-compassion and nurtures the connections between your various parts, promoting inner harmony and emotional well-being.
Through IFS therapy and other modalities we can listen to your inner parts, acknowledge their experiences and address their unmet needs and inner resources.
My approach is gentle and compassionate. If this resonates, go to my home page to view my current availability for booking a session. I offer virtual therapy for those in the UK, US & Europe.