IFS Therapy

  • IFS Therapy

    Therapy for Childhood Trauma – Healing with Internal Family Systems

    therapy for childhood trauma inner child work uk

    Therapy for Childhood Trauma – Healing with Internal Family Systems

    Many people seeking therapy for childhood trauma grew up in homes that felt emotionally unsafe, unpredictable, or controlling. There may not have been one single event that stands out as “the trauma,” but rather a constant sense of walking on eggshells, being watched, corrected, or pressured for a reaction. For some, childhood involved angry or dysregulated parents, emotional coldness, criticism, or experiences of emotional, physical, or psychological abuse.

    In these environments, children often learn early that it is not safe to be themselves. Their nervous system adapts not for growth, but for survival.

    Therapy for childhood trauma is not about blaming parents or reliving the past. It is about understanding how early environments shaped your emotional world, nervous system, and sense of self and how those adaptations may still be affecting you today.

    Childhood Trauma Beyond Obvious Abuse

    Childhood trauma does not only occur in overtly abusive homes. Many people who seek therapy for childhood trauma describe growing up in families that were emotionally unstable or controlling. Parents may have been easily angered, intrusive, unpredictable, or emotionally unavailable. You may have been pressured to behave a certain way, criticised for small mistakes, or shunned when you expressed needs or emotions.

    For a child, these experiences are deeply impactful. When caregivers are dysregulated, frightening, or emotionally cold, the child has no safe place to land. Over time, the nervous system learns to stay alert, suppress emotion, or disappear internally.

    This kind of trauma is relational and cumulative — it develops slowly, often invisibly, and is carried forward into adulthood.

    Signs of Childhood Trauma

    People often minimise their experiences because “nothing terrible happened.” Yet therapy for childhood trauma frequently begins when adults notice long-standing emotional patterns that don’t seem to make sense in the present.

    Some common signs include growing up:

    • Feeling scared much of the time
    • Afraid to make mistakes or get things wrong
    • With angry or emotionally dysregulated parents
    • Being shunned, criticised, or rejected for small things
    • With cold, distant, or emotionally unavailable parents

    These experiences shape how a child learns to relate to themselves and others.

    How Childhood Trauma Manifests in Adulthood

    The impact of childhood trauma often shows up not as memories, but as ways of being. Many adults who seek therapy for childhood trauma describe patterns such as:

    • Suppressing their authenticity
    • Making themselves small or invisible
    • Fear of anger — their own or other people’s
    • Difficulty expressing needs or boundaries
    • Growing up feeling disconnected or shut down
    • Chronic low mood or depression

    These patterns are not personality flaws. They are adaptations that once helped you survive an environment where it was not safe to be fully yourself.

    Therapy for childhood trauma helps you understand these adaptations with compassion, rather than judgement.

    Therapy for Childhood Trauma and Finding Inner Safety

    For many people, childhood trauma is not experienced as a single event, but as a persistent sense of emotional insecurity or fear of being left, rejected, or abandoned. While counselling can help you understand your childhood experiences, it may place less focus on how trauma continues to live in the nervous system and body in the present.

    In therapy for childhood trauma, people often describe having already gained insight into their past. They may understand why they struggle with anxiety, panic, emotional overwhelm, or fear in relationships, yet still find themselves reacting in ways that feel automatic and hard to control. This can be confusing and deeply discouraging, especially when insight alone has not led to lasting change.

    This is because childhood trauma is often not held as a story or belief, but as a lived, physiological experience. Early environments marked by emotional unpredictability, anger, withdrawal, or lack of safety can leave the nervous system organised around fear of loss, rejection, or abandonment. These patterns can continue long after childhood has ended, shaping emotional reactions, relationships, and a sense of inner safety.

    Lasting change often requires a therapeutic approach that works directly with these deeper layers. When emotions linked to childhood trauma are processed experientially — rather than only talked about the nervous system can begin to settle, and the body can learn that it is no longer living in the original threat. Somatic, experiential approaches such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) are particularly well suited to this work.

    In Internal Family Systems therapy, patterns such as fear of abandonment, hypervigilance, anxiety, or emotional shutdown are understood as protective responses that developed in childhood to keep you safe. Therapy focuses on gently meeting these responses with curiosity and compassion, allowing the system to release what it has been holding and rebuild a sense of inner safety.

    Many people who seek therapy for childhood trauma find that fears of abandonment, rejection, or being “too much” are not separate issues, but natural consequences of growing up without consistent emotional safety. Addressing childhood trauma at this level allows healing to occur where it was originally shaped.

    When Counselling Hasn’t Led to Sustainable Change

    Traditional counselling often relies on insight, reflection, and verbal processing. While this can be helpful, many people notice that understanding their past does not necessarily change how their body reacts in the present.

    You might know logically that you are no longer a child, yet still freeze around authority, panic when someone is angry, or shut down emotionally under stress. You may understand your childhood clearly, yet continue to feel overwhelmed, disconnected, depressed and like you’re walking on eggshells.

    This happens because childhood trauma is often held in implicit memory in the nervous system and the body rather than in conscious thought alone. Without working directly with these layers, emotional responses formed in childhood can continue long after the danger has passed.

    Effective therapy for childhood trauma needs to address what lives beneath words.

    In Internal Family Systems therapy this is often understood as a part that is frozen and stuck in the past.

    Internal Family Systems and Childhood Trauma

    Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a gentle, evidence-based approach that is particularly well suited to therapy for childhood trauma. IFS understands the mind as made up of different “parts” that are often emotional states or strategies that developed to help you cope.

    In homes with anger, control, or emotional neglect, children often develop protective parts that stay vigilant, compliant, or hyper-aware. Alongside these protectors are younger, more vulnerable parts that carry fear, shame, sadness, or terror.

    At the core of IFS is Self energy which is a natural state of calm, curiosity, compassion, and clarity. Therapy supports access to this state so that painful experiences can be met safely.

    A Gentle IFS Process: Working With an Anxious Protector

    In childhood trauma, anxiety and overthinking often function as protectors. These parts may constantly scan for danger, anticipate anger, replay conversations, or try to control situations to avoid being punished, shamed, or overwhelmed. While exhausting, these parts developed to keep you safe in environments where emotional or physical safety was not guaranteed.

    Internal Family Systems work begins with curiosity, presence, and compassion. There is no attempt to fix or remove anything. Instead, the aim is to build a relationship with the parts that have been working so hard for so long.

    In therapy, this process is guided carefully, but it may look something like this:

    You begin by settling into a quiet, safe space. Sitting comfortably, you bring attention to your breath and allow your body to arrive in the present moment. Any tension, tightness, or restlessness is noticed without judgement.

    Next, you gently bring to mind a mild situation where anxiety or overthinking was activated, perhaps a moment where you felt afraid of anger, control, or doing something wrong. The experience does not need to be intense; even a subtle activation is enough.

    You then bring awareness to your body. You may notice tightness in your chest, a clenched stomach, tension in your jaw, or buzzing in your head. These sensations are how the anxious protector communicates.

    As you stay present, you may notice internal thoughts or voices that are analysing, worrying, or trying to keep everything under control. Beneath this, you may sense a younger part that feels scared, small, or frozen, carrying memories of being shamed, frightened, or overwhelmed.

    Rather than trying to change anything, the focus is on staying present with both parts. The anxious protector is acknowledged for trying to keep you safe. The younger part is recognised for the fear it still carries.

    Unblending is an important step. Instead of “I am anxious” or “I’m in danger,” the language shifts to: “I notice a part of me that feels anxious,” or “I notice a part of me that is afraid of anger.” This creates space and allows Self energy to emerge.

    From this calmer place, gentle curiosity is brought to both parts. You might wonder how the protector learned this role, and how long the younger part has been carrying its fear. Responses may arise as sensations, images, emotions, or words.

    Compassion naturally follows. The protector’s positive intent is recognised. The younger part is met with care rather than avoidance. Healing happens through being seen and understood, not forced.

    This kind of experiential work is central to therapy for childhood trauma because it allows emotional energy to be processed and released safely.

    IFS, Memory Reconsolidation, and Healing

    IFS therapy supports healing through memory reconsolidation, the process by which emotional memories can be updated and reprocessed when they are accessed in a safe, regulated state.

    Often what happens is when we go through a traumatic experience we don’t have the support or tools to process those emotions and those emotions aren’t metabolised.

    These emotions get stored as emotional energy in the brain and nervous system and this explains why we get emotionally triggered, because those unresolved emotions that sit in our brain and nervous system are re-activated.

    IFS therapy helps people to metabolise memories of childhood trauma, such as abandonment, neglect and abuse, and reprocess them from their adult selves. This helps them to reparent the parts of them that felt rejected, abandoned and mistreated and release the stored emotional energy from their mind and body.

    Often in IFS therapy this looks like asking your adult self “if you were to change or heal what had happened what would you do?” This asks your adult self, your secondary caregiver to redo that experience and meet those unmet needs. This might look like standing up for your inner child and setting boundaries to a parent, sitting beside them, validating their emotions or giving your younger self a hug. This is called reparenting and after reparenting has taken place, we might ask your younger self if they would like to leave that situation and go somewhere where they feel emotionally safe, such as a beach, forrest or safe home.

    When childhood memories are revisited with Self energy present, the nervous system can learn something new: that the danger has passed, that support is available now, and that the body no longer needs to stay in survival mode.

    After this step in IFS therapy, we might ask a client if they are ready to unburden and let go of all of the stored emotions, thoughts and beliefs they carry from their mind and body.

    Often we ask them if they would like to unburden with earth, air, fire or water and through visual imagination the client will imagine that process for themselves and unburden the emotional wound they have been carrying. Often this happens after we have mindfully witnessed and reparented that part several times before unburdening.

    Therapy for childhood trauma, such as IFS therapy works precisely because it has a focus on releasing trauma.

    This is what tends to happen after releasing a traumatic memory and experience:

    • They feel lighter in their body and nervous system.
    • They become less emotionally triggered and reactive.
    • They have more capacity to pause and choose their responses.
    • The memory feels like it belongs in the past rather than the present.
    • Their nervous system shows increased regulation and stability.

    A Gentle Invitation

    If you are considering therapy for childhood trauma, you do not need to have all the answers or justify your experiences. If something in your past still lives in your body, emotions, or relationships, it deserves care.

    I offer therapy for childhood trauma in Newcastle, UK, and online, using a trauma-informed Internal Family Systems approach. This work is gentle, collaborative, and paced to support safety and regulation.

    Instead of going over experiences, we use an experiential approach where we explore these parts with openness and curiosity and develop compassion and appreciation to the parts of us that had to adapt. This helps to build self acceptance, redo experiences and build emotional safety.

    If you would like to explore whether this approach feels right for you, you are welcome to get in touch for an initial conversation.

  • IFS Therapy

    Therapy for Abandonment Trauma and Finding Inner Safety with IFS Therapy

    therapy for abandonment trauma ifs therapy newcastle upon tyne inner child work

    Therapy for Abandonment Trauma and Finding Inner Safety With IFS Therapy

    Often, counselling alone can feel insufficient when working with abandonment trauma. While talking therapies can help you understand why you feel the way you do, they may place less focus on releasing the fear of abandonment and the emotional energy stored in the mind, body, and nervous system. For many people, abandonment trauma is not just a memory or a belief, it is a lived, physiological experience that continues to shape emotional reactions, relationships, and a sense of safety in the present.

    In my practice, many people seeking therapy for abandonment trauma tell me they have already tried counselling or talk therapy. They may have gained insight, developed language for their experiences, and understood their childhood history, yet still feel emotionally triggered, overwhelmed in relationships, or stuck in cycles of anxiety, panic, and fear of being left. This can be deeply frustrating and can lead people to question whether healing is truly possible.

    Lasting change often requires a therapeutic approach that focuses on metabolising emotions and gently releasing the emotional energy associated with abandonment and anxiety. When emotions are processed experientially, rather than only talked about — the nervous system can begin to settle, and the body can learn that it is no longer living in the original threat. This is where a somatic, experiential approach such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be especially effective in therapy for abandonment trauma.

    When Counselling Hasn’t Led to Sustainable Change

    Traditional counselling often relies on insight, reflection, and verbal processing. While this can be helpful, many people notice that understanding their past does not necessarily change how their body reacts in the present. You might know logically that your partner is not abandoning you, yet feel intense panic when they pull away. You may understand your childhood clearly, yet still experience waves of anxiety, despair, or emotional overwhelm.

    This happens because abandonment trauma is often held in implicit memory in the nervous system and the body rather than in conscious thought alone. Without working directly with these layers, the fear of abandonment can remain active even when circumstances are safe.

    Effective therapy for abandonment trauma needs to address what lives beneath words.

    Emotional Triggers and Relationship Dysregulation

    Many people experience abandonment trauma most strongly in close relationships. You may find that your emotional state shifts rapidly depending on another person’s availability. A delayed reply, change in tone, or perceived distance can trigger anxiety, sadness, anger, or shutdown.

    You may notice:

    • Heightened sensitivity to rejection
    • Difficulty soothing yourself when alone
    • Strong urges to seek reassurance
    • Feeling emotionally flooded or dysregulated

    These reactions are rarely about the present moment alone. In therapy for abandonment trauma, they are understood as emotional memories being activated and are memories that were never fully processed or resolved.

    The Roots of Abandonment Trauma

    Abandonment trauma can develop in many ways. Some people experienced a parent leaving physically through separation, death, or absence. Others grew up with parents who were emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or overwhelmed.

    For many, the trauma is rooted not only in emotional neglect, but also in growing up in instability without a consistent physical or emotional refuge. This may include homes marked by unpredictability, conflict, substance use, mental illness, or abuse. Without a stable place of safety, the nervous system never fully learns to settle.

    When a child experiences physical and emotional neglect or abuse, or lacks a reliable place to feel protected, their system adapts by staying alert. As children, we rely entirely on caregivers for safety, regulation, and survival. When that protection is missing, the body learns that connection is uncertain and that danger may be close.

    Later in adult life, abandonment, or even the possibility of it can feel overwhelming or life-threatening. The fear is not irrational; it is rooted in early dependency needs that were not met.

    This is why therapy for abandonment trauma must help create safety within the body, not just insight in the mind.

    Trauma Is What Happens Inside Us

    Trauma is not only defined by what happened externally. It is also defined by what happened internally when support was missing.

    Many people with abandonment trauma experience:

    • A chronic sense of inner emptiness
    • Recurrent depression linked to unmet emotional needs
    • Feeling alone or unsupported, even when others are present
    • A deep longing for closeness or reassurance
    • Panic or desperation around separation

    These experiences are not signs of weakness. They are understandable responses to growing up without consistent emotional safety.

    A compassionate approach to therapy for abandonment trauma recognises these patterns as adaptations and ways your system learned to survive.

    Signs of an Abandonment Wound

    You may recognise some of the following experiences:

    • Being drawn to emotionally unavailable or inconsistent partners
    • Fear, panic, or intense worry when someone pulls away
    • Feeling unable to cope emotionally without another person
    • Recurrent depression or feelings of emptiness

    Rather than viewing these as self-sabotaging behaviours, therapy for abandonment trauma understands them as protective strategies formed in response to early relational pain.

    What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

    Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based, experiential therapy that works gently with the inner world. It is particularly well suited to therapy for abandonment trauma because it helps people engage directly with emotional experience in a safe and regulated way.

    IFS understands the mind as made up of different “parts” – emotional states or responses that developed for specific reasons. These parts are not problems to eliminate; they are intelligent adaptations.

    Alongside these parts is what we call Self energy, a natural state of calm, curiosity, compassion, and clarity. When Self energy is present, we can relate to painful emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.

    A Somatic, Experiential Approach

    IFS works with emotions as they are experienced in the body. Triggers are viewed as “trailheads”, basically doorways that lead to unresolved emotional experiences seeking attention.

    For example, emotional dysregulation in relationships there may be rapid mood shifts, anxiety, anger, or despair often points to younger parts that carry unmet needs from childhood.

    Through therapy for abandonment trauma, these parts can finally be seen, heard, and supported in a way they never were before.

    A Gentle IFS Process: Working With an Overthinking Protector

    In abandonment trauma, overthinking often functions as a protector. It may constantly analyse relationships, replay conversations, anticipate rejection, or search for certainty. While exhausting, this part is usually trying to prevent the pain of being left again.

    Internal Family Systems work begins with curiosity, presence, and compassion. There is no attempt to fix or get rid of anything. Instead, the goal is to notice and build a relationship with the parts involved.

    In therapy, this process is guided carefully, but it may look something like this:

    You begin by settling into a quiet, safe space. Sitting comfortably, you bring attention to your breath and allow your body to arrive in the present moment. You may notice tension, restlessness, or tightness all welcome and acknowledged.

    Next, you gently bring to mind a mild moment of overthinking related to abandonment. Perhaps a situation where your mind kept looping: “What if they leave?” or “Did I do something wrong?” The experience does not need to be intense, even a subtle activation is enough.

    You then bring awareness to your body. You might notice pressure in your chest, a tight stomach, buzzing in your head, or a sense of agitation. These sensations are how the overthinking protector communicates.

    As you stay present, you may notice internal voices or thoughts. One part may be analysing, worrying, or criticising trying to prevent rejection or emotional pain. Beneath this, you may sense a younger, more vulnerable part that feels afraid, alone, or unworthy carrying the original abandonment pain.

    Rather than trying to change anything, the focus is on staying present with both parts. The overthinking part is recognised for its protective role. The vulnerable part is acknowledged for the pain it carries.

    A key step is unblending. Instead of “I am overthinking” or “I am unlovable,” the language shifts to: “I notice a part of me that is overthinking,” or “I notice a part of me that feels afraid of being left.” This creates space and allows Self energy to emerge.

    From this calmer, more compassionate place, gentle curiosity is brought to both parts. You might internally ask the overthinking part how it is trying to help you survive, and the younger part how long it has carried this fear. Responses may come as sensations, images, emotions, or words.

    Compassion naturally follows. The protector is seen for its positive intent. The vulnerable part is met with care rather than avoidance. Healing unfolds through being witnessed, not forced.

    This kind of experiential work is central to therapy for abandonment trauma because it allows emotional energy to be processed and released safely.

    How IFS Therapy Supports Healing

    IFS therapy helps by:

    • Creating internal safety and stability
    • Allowing emotions to be metabolised rather than suppressed
    • Reducing emotional reactivity in relationships
    • Softening the fear of abandonment at its root
    • Building a sense of internal support

    As these changes occur, people often feel calmer, less desperate for reassurance, and more able to tolerate closeness and separation.

    This is why therapy for abandonment trauma using IFS can feel profoundly different from previous therapeutic experiences.

    What Therapy Sessions Are Like

    IFS therapy is collaborative and paced carefully. You are always in control, and nothing is forced. Sessions often involve grounding, noticing internal experience, and gently building relationships with parts that have been carrying pain for a long time.

    There is no requirement to relive trauma. Healing happens through presence, curiosity, and compassion.

    Therapy for Abandonment Trauma in Newcastle, UK

    If you are looking for therapy for abandonment trauma in Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK, I offer a trauma-informed approach grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS). This work can be especially supportive if you struggle with relationship anxiety, emotional dysregulation, chronic overthinking, or a deep fear of being left.

    You do not have to face this alone. With the right support, it is possible to feel safer within yourself, more regulated in your nervous system, and more secure in connection with others. Healing abandonment trauma is not about forcing independence, it is about developing internal safety and support.

    If you would like to explore therapy for abandonment trauma, you are welcome to get in touch for a gentle initial conversation.

    Begin Healing Abandonment Trauma: A Gentle 3-Step Process

    Internal Family Systems therapy offers a structured, compassionate way to work with abandonment trauma at a pace that feels safe. In Newcastle, UK, and online, therapy provides a supportive space to begin healing through the following steps:

    Step 1: Begin With a Free 15-Minute Consultation

    The process starts with a free, informal consultation. This is an opportunity to ask questions, share what brings you to therapy, and get a sense of whether this approach feels right for you. There is no pressure or commitment, just a gentle starting point. Get in touch to arrange a consultation here.

    Step 2: Explore Patterns Linked to Abandonment

    In therapy, we explore patterns such as fear of being left, overthinking in relationships, emotional reactivity, and difficulty self-soothing. These patterns are approached with curiosity rather than judgement, helping you understand how they developed and what they are trying to protect.

    Step 3: Build Internal Safety Through IFS Therapy

    Using Internal Family Systems therapy, we gently work with protective parts and wounded parts connected to abandonment. This process supports nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and the development of a more secure relationship with yourself and others. Over time, this can reduce anxiety, soften emotional triggers, and increase a sense of inner stability.

  • ADHD, Chronic stress, IFS Therapy

    ADHD Burnout Recovery: Slowing Down the Nervous System with IFS Therapy

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    ADHD Burnout Recovery: Slowing Down the Nervous System with IFS Therapy

    ADHD burnout recovery is essential for anyone with ADHD who feels chronically exhausted, overwhelmed, or disconnected from motivation. Burnout arises when the nervous system has been overtaxed by prolonged hyperfocus, over-achievement, executive functioning challenges, and constant mental stimulation. It is not a sign of laziness or failure; rather, it is a signal from your nervous system that it needs rest, regulation, and compassionate attention. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy provides a gentle, evidence-based approach to understand ADHD burnout, connect with protective and vulnerable parts, and restore energy and focus.

    What is ADHD Burnout Recovery?

    ADHD burnout recovery is the process of recognizing exhaustion, regulating the nervous system, and restoring balance to attention, emotion, and motivation. Unlike typical fatigue, ADHD burnout includes emotional and cognitive overwhelm, body tension, irritability, procrastination, and sometimes low mood or depressive feelings. Recovery involves slowing down, attending to unmet needs, and addressing the internal parts that have been overworking or carrying unresolved fears.

    Recovery is not about forcing yourself to do more or “pushing through.” It is about understanding what your nervous system and internal parts are signaling, and providing the care, structure, and internal support needed to rebuild energy and focus.

    ADHD Burnout, Attachment, and Misattunement (Gabor Maté’s Perspective)

    ADHD burnout is not only a result of modern demands or individual capacity; it is often rooted in early nervous system development and attachment experiences. Physician and trauma-informed expert Gabor Maté emphasizes that ADHD can emerge in environments where a child’s emotional needs were not consistently met with attunement, safety, or regulation. This does not mean caregivers were intentionally harmful, but rather that stress, absence, trauma, or emotional unavailability may have required the child to adapt.

    From this perspective, ADHD traits such as hypervigilance, distractibility, and intense focus can be understood as adaptive nervous system responses rather than deficits. A child may learn to stay alert to their environment, monitor emotional cues, or disconnect from bodily needs in order to maintain connection or safety. Over time, these adaptations become ingrained patterns in the nervous system.

    ADHD burnout recovery is about understanding when these early adaptations are overused in adulthood. Hyperfocus, overachievement, people-pleasing, and self-neglect may have once supported survival or belonging, but they now tax the nervous system beyond its capacity. Burnout emerges not because the person is failing, but because their system has been working too hard for too long without sufficient rest, co-regulation, or internal safety.

    IFS therapy is particularly well-suited to this lens because it honors these adaptations as protective parts. Rather than pathologizing ADHD symptoms, IFS invites curiosity toward the parts that learned to stay busy, alert, or productive to avoid emotional pain or disconnection. By slowing down and building relationships with these parts, individuals can begin to offer the attunement and safety that may have been missing earlier in life.

    ADHD burnout recovery, then, becomes an attachment-informed process. Through consistent Self-energy, compassionate attention, and nervous system regulation, the internal system learns that it no longer has to remain in survival mode to be safe or valued.

    ADHD Burnout Recovery Is Not About Eliminating ADHD

    A common misconception in ADHD burnout recovery is the belief that healing means eliminating ADHD traits altogether. This mindset often reinforces shame, self-criticism, and unrealistic expectations, which paradoxically contribute to further burnout. ADHD is not something to be cured or removed; it is a neurodevelopmental difference that shapes how attention, energy, creativity, and sensitivity are experienced.

    Recovery is not about forcing yourself to function like a neurotypical person. It is about learning how to work with your nervous system rather than against it. Many people with ADHD have spent years masking, pushing, and overriding their internal signals in order to meet external expectations. While this may produce short-term productivity, it often leads to chronic exhaustion and emotional depletion.

    ADHD burnout recovery focuses on slowing down the mind and nervous system so that internal capacity can rebuild. This includes improving self-care, rest, and stress management—not as luxuries, but as essential foundations for sustainable functioning. When the nervous system is regulated, executive functioning, emotional regulation, and motivation naturally improve.

    From an IFS perspective, the goal is not to silence hyperfocus, creativity, or intensity, but to help these parts feel safe enough to operate in balance. Hyperfocus can be a strength when paired with rest. Sensitivity can enhance empathy and insight when not overwhelmed. Energy can flow more freely when it is not constantly driven by fear, pressure, or internal criticism.

    Recovery involves learning to recognize early signs of overload, respond to them with care, and create rhythms that honor both productivity and restoration. By prioritizing nervous system regulation, individuals with ADHD can move away from cycles of collapse and recovery, and toward a more consistent, compassionate relationship with their internal world.

    ADHD burnout recovery is not about becoming someone else. It is about becoming safer within yourself.

    What is IFS?

    Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a compassionate approach to understanding the mind and nervous system. It views the psyche as made up of different parts, each with a role, intention, and perspective. Some parts protect you from emotional pain, others carry burdens from past experiences, and some may feel stuck or overwhelmed.

    IFS helps you:

    • Identify and connect with your parts
    • Understand the roles they play in ADHD burnout
    • Build relationships with them through curiosity, compassion, and appreciation
    • Access Self-energy—the calm, grounded, and compassionate part of you—to lead your internal system

    Through IFS, ADHD burnout recovery becomes a process of befriending the parts that have been overworking, overprotecting, or neglecting needs, allowing the nervous system to regulate and internal energy to be restored.

    Parts in ADHD Burnout

    ADHD burnout often involves a complex interplay of protector and exile parts. Common parts include:

    • Hyperfocus or “locked-in” part: Drives intense focus on tasks but can lead to neglecting rest and self-care
    • Perfectionist part: Sets unrealistically high standards, leading to stress, guilt, and internal pressure
    • Social withdrawal part: Pulls you away from interaction to protect from overwhelm
    • Self-neglect part: Ignores bodily needs, sleep, nutrition, and downtime to keep performance high
    • Over-achiever part: Constantly pushes forward to meet responsibilities, often at the expense of emotional or physical energy
    • Depression/exhaustion part: Holds the heaviness, fatigue, and low mood resulting from prolonged strain

    These parts often interact, sometimes reinforcing each other. Hyperfocus and over-achiever parts amplify pressure, while social withdrawal and self-neglect parts emerge to cope with overwhelm. Depression and exhaustion parts signal that the nervous system is depleted and in need of care.

    Example of IFS Therapy for ADHD Burnout Recovery

    IFS therapy for ADHD burnout recovery is gentle, exploratory, and somatic. Here is an example process:

    1. Begin with a body scan: Notice sensations in your head, neck, shoulders, chest, stomach, legs, and feet. Take slow, grounding breaths and allow tension to release. This slows the nervous system and creates safety.
    2. Focus on a hyperfocus part: Notice where this part shows up in your body. Ask it gently:
      • “How do you feel toward me right now?”
      • “What do you want me to know?”
      • “When did you take on this role?”
      • “What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t focus this way?”
      • “What do you need from me?”
    3. Focus on a self-neglect part: Bring curiosity to the part of you that ignores rest, food, or self-care. Ask similar questions:
      • “Why are you neglecting my needs?”
      • “How are you protecting me?”
      • “What do you want me to understand about your role?”
    4. Befriend the parts: Express appreciation for their efforts, acknowledging that they are trying to help or protect you. This builds trust and reduces the intensity of burnout-driven behaviors.
    5. Invite Self-energy: Check in with your grounded, compassionate Self. Ask:
      • “Is my heart open?”
      • “What part of me is present right now?”
      • “What does it want me to know?”
      • “What does it need from me?”

    By engaging with hyperfocus and self-neglect parts in this way, you help regulate the nervous system, create internal safety, and reduce the intensity of ADHD burnout symptoms. The goal is not to eliminate parts but to develop relationships with them so they can relax and allow energy and focus to return naturally.

    Recovery Strategies for ADHD Burnout

    Prioritise Rest

    Rest is essential for ADHD burnout recovery. Include sleep, breaks, and restorative activities to allow nervous system regulation. Even short, structured moments of rest—like a brief walk, a stretch, or a mindful pause can reduce overwhelm and provide much-needed recovery.

    Lower the Goal Posts

    Instead of pushing yourself to complete 10 or more tasks a day, focus on one to three meaningful activities. Reducing expectations prevents further exhaustion, allows parts to relax, and creates space for the nervous system to regulate.

    Build a Support System

    Share responsibilities and receive validation from friends, family, therapists, or ADHD coaches. Protecting your energy through connection and support helps prevent isolation, reduces internal pressure, and reinforces Self-energy leadership.

    Engage in Self-Care Activities

    Nutrition, gentle movement, mindfulness, hobbies, and restorative rituals are crucial. They support the nervous system, calm protector parts, and give exiled parts a sense of care and validation.

    Slowing Down the Nervous System

    ADHD burnout is closely tied to nervous system dysregulation. Hyperarousal, chronic stress, and overwork keep the body in fight-or-flight mode. Slowing the nervous system involves grounding, breathwork, mindful movement, and noticing body sensations. Hyperfocus cycles, overachievement, and self-neglect maintain burnout by keeping the nervous system overactive. Slowing down signals safety, allowing protector parts to relax and exiled parts to feel supported.

    Befriending Your Nervous System

    Befriending your nervous system is transformative in ADHD burnout recovery. Rather than criticizing procrastination or hyperfocus, notice the parts that are activated and offer compassion. Ask:

    • “What are you trying to protect me from?”
    • “How can I help you feel safe and supported?”

    Through curiosity and care, protector parts feel seen, exiled parts feel supported, and Self-energy can lead with calm and grounded focus.

    Inviting Self-Energy

    Self-energy—the calm, compassionate, and grounded part of you—can lead internal recovery from ADHD burnout. Check in:

    • “Is my heart open?”
    • “What part of me is present right now?”
    • “What does it want me to know?”
    • “What does it need from me?”

    By inviting Self-energy, you create internal balance, regulate the nervous system, and reduce the intensity of burnout. Protector parts can relax, and exiled parts feel safe and supported, allowing energy and focus to return naturally.

    Moving From Burnout to Balance

    ADHD burnout recovery is a process of reclaiming energy, attention, and emotional balance. IFS therapy helps you develop a compassionate relationship with the parts driving hyperfocus, self-neglect, overachievement, and exhaustion. You learn to slow down, notice internal signals, and respond with care.

    As parts feel heard and supported, the nervous system can regulate, focus returns, and daily life becomes more sustainable. ADHD burnout becomes an opportunity for self-understanding, integration, and resilience rather than a cycle of exhaustion and overwhelm.

    Start Your ADHD Burnout Recovery

    If you are ready to work with ADHD burnout and slow down your nervous system, IFS therapy offers a gentle, structured, and compassionate approach. In Newcastle, UK, and online, therapy provides a safe space to:

    1. Book a free 15-minute consultation
    2. Explore your ADHD burnout, hyperfocus tendencies, and self-neglect patterns
    3. Begin IFS therapy to befriend internal parts, regulate the nervous system, and restore energy, balance, and clarity

    Recovery from ADHD burnout is possible through curiosity, compassion, and intentional strategies. By working with your internal system, you can shift from exhaustion and overwhelm to calm, focus, and sustainable engagement with life.

    Read more

    Understanding ADHD Burnout and Slowing Down the Nervous System

    ADHD Procrastination – Befriending Your Procrastination Part For Emotional Balance

    How to Get Out of Survival Mode Through IFS Therapy

  • IFS Therapy, ADHD

    ADHD Procrastination – Befriending Your Procrastination Part For Emotional Balance

    ADHD procrastination adhd symptoms inner child work v1

    ADHD Procrastination – Befriending Your Procrastination Part For Emotional Balance

    ADHD procrastination can feel frustrating, exhausting, and confusing. Tasks pile up, deadlines loom, and yet starting or completing them feels almost impossible. For many people with ADHD, procrastination is not simply laziness, it is a protective strategy, an internal signal that the nervous system is overstimulated, overwhelmed, or guarding vulnerability. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach to explore ADHD procrastination, understand the parts involved, and slow down the nervous system. Through this process, you can move from overwhelm toward calm, clarity, and self-understanding.

    What is ADHD Procrastination?

    ADHD procrastination is the pattern of delaying or avoiding tasks, often accompanied by anxiety, guilt, or self-criticism. For people with ADHD, procrastination is not merely poor time management. It arises from the way attention, motivation, and executive functioning are wired in the brain.

    Hyperactivity, distractibility, and hyperfocus cycles all influence procrastination, creating moments of intense focus on stimulating activities while avoiding essential tasks. Emotional tension, fear of failure, or fear of criticism can amplify the delay. ADHD procrastination is cyclical: you feel pressure to act, delay, experience guilt, and then further avoid future tasks. Understanding the reasons behind these patterns is the first step toward working with them rather than against them.

    Signs of ADHD Procrastination

    Recognizing ADHD procrastination is key to addressing it. Common signs include:

    • Difficulty initiating tasks even when important
    • Hyperfocus on less urgent activities while avoiding essential work
    • Chronic delay in completing projects or responsibilities
    • Anxiety, stress, or restlessness around tasks
    • Self-criticism or shame after putting things off
    • Executive dysfunction, including difficulty planning, organizing, or prioritizing

    These signs indicate that parts of your nervous system are working hard to protect you. Procrastination is often a signal that some part of you is trying to manage overwhelm, uncertainty, or fear.

    Origins of ADHD Procrastination

    ADHD procrastination has multiple contributing factors. Neurologically, ADHD reflects differences in attention, executive functioning, and self-regulation. However, early relational experiences also shape how the nervous system develops and responds to stress.

    In Scattered Minds, Dr. Gabor Maté suggests that ADHD may be a developmental delay influenced by early attachment disruptions. Children who did not experience consistent emotional attunement, safety, or connection may develop hyper-vigilance or scattered attention. Their nervous system learns to scan the environment for danger rather than focus inward. ADHD procrastination can emerge as a coping strategy delaying tasks may protect against overwhelm, failure, or relational stressors.

    Growing up in families with dysregulated parents, inconsistent attunement, or emotional neglect often shapes patterns of fawning, over-responsibility, or chronic stress. Children learn to adapt by over-achieving, caretaking, or avoiding action to stay safe. These early strategies often become adult patterns, keeping individuals in survival mode, stuck in cycles of procrastination, emotional labor, or overwhelm.

    IFS and ADHD Procrastination

    Internal Family Systems therapy provides a framework to explore ADHD procrastination with curiosity and compassion. Rather than trying to force yourself to “stop procrastinating,” IFS helps you get to know the part of you that procrastinates. You notice how it shows up in your body, what role it has taken on, what it fears, and how it is trying to protect you.

    The goal of IFS in this context is not to heal ADHD or fix the part instantly, but to slow down the nervous system, foster calm, and build a relationship between Self-energy and protective parts. By befriending the procrastination part, you reduce internal struggle, recognize its intentions, and create space to act from a regulated and grounded state.

    Causes of ADHD, Attachment, and the Scattered Mind

    ADHD arises from a combination of neurobiological, genetic, and environmental factors. IFS-informed perspectives recognize both: the neurobiology of ADHD shapes attention and regulation, while early attachment experiences shape how the nervous system adapts. Children who experience inconsistent attunement or neglect often develop hyper-vigilance, emotional self-protection, and scattered attention. These early adaptations can persist into adulthood as ADHD procrastination, fawning, or over-responsibility.

    Unearthing Strengths

    From an IFS perspective, ADHD traits hyperactivity, distractibility, and forgetfulness are not “parts” to eliminate but expressions of how your nervous system is wired. However, ADHD influences how your parts operate and your access to Self-energy. It can make you more easily blended with parts, leading to overwhelm or stuckness, or it can amplify creative strengths.

    IFS therapy encourages recognizing ADHD strengths such as creativity, intuition, sensitivity, and deep engagement. Therapy focuses on welcoming all parts, accessing Self-energy consistently, and using strengths in a balanced, sustainable way.

    A Gentle Example of ADHD Procrastination Work

    Start by settling into your body and performing a slow body scan. Imagine a gentle flush of water flowing from your head down through your neck, across your chest, into your stomach, and then down through your legs and feet. Allow the water to wash away tension and create grounding.

    Once you feel present, focus on your ADHD procrastination part. Notice where it manifests physically and approach it with curiosity. Ask:

    • “How do you feel toward me right now?”
    • “What do you want me to know?”
    • “When did you take on this role?”
    • “What are you afraid would happen?”
    • “What do you need from me?”

    Listen and allow the part to respond. Extend appreciation for its efforts and acknowledge that it is trying to protect you, even if the strategy feels frustrating. This act of befriending helps the part feel seen, understood, and valued, which naturally calms the nervous system.

    As you explore the procrastination part, notice if it is guarding an exile part—perhaps a part carrying fear of rejection, shame, or lack of safety. 

    By naming these fears and acknowledging the emotion, you reduce amygdala activation and create space for Self-energy to respond with curiosity and calm. Over time, procrastination becomes less reactive, and you experience clarity, groundedness, and the ability to act intentionally.

    Getting to Know Your ADHD Procrastination Part

    Begin by noticing the physical sensations associated with procrastination. Perhaps there is tension in the chest, a knot in the stomach, restlessness in the legs, or tightness in the shoulders. This is your starting point for engaging with the part.

    Ask the procrastination part gentle questions:

    • “What am I putting off?”
    • “Why am I putting this off?”
    • “What am I afraid would happen if I acted?”

    Often, procrastination is protecting a deeper vulnerability. It may guard an exiled part that feels fear, shame, or a lack of safety. Naming the fear and emotion reduces activation in the amygdala, allowing the nervous system to calm. 

    This separation from the fear creates space for Self-energy to lead. By exploring ADHD procrastination in this way, you begin to move from overwhelm toward a relationship with both the procrastination part and the exile part, such as survival fear part or rejection part.

    Sometimes Procrastination Parts Energise Exiles

    Procrastinator parts often act to protect exiled parts from perceived danger. These exiles may carry survival fears, anxiety about safety, shame, or unresolved childhood experiences. For example, a procrastination part might keep you from completing tasks because it fears that moving forward and failing could trigger feelings of abandonment, survival fear and isolation.

    By naming the fear, for example “I am afraid I won’t be safe if I act” or “I fear I will be rejected” you can lower anxiety in the amygdala center of the brain. Naming it takes the grip away and begins the process of mindful separation. Over time, you can observe the fear without being overwhelmed by it, allowing Self-energy to respond with curiosity, calm, and compassion.

    Benefits of IFS and ADHD Procrastination Work

    IFS therapy transforms ADHD procrastination from a source of frustration into a doorway for self-understanding. Instead of criticizing parts that delay action, you learn to listen to them and appreciate the protection they provide.

    Clients discover that lasting change comes from safety, trust, and curiosity, not pressure or shame. Many people with ADHD have experienced relational trauma, invalidation, or emotional neglect. Recognizing ADHD procrastination in the context of the broader nervous system allows for compassion, regulation, and sustainable strategies.

    Through IFS, you can move from scattered attention and overwhelm to calm, focus, and internal balance. Protector parts feel seen and appreciated, exiles feel supported, and Self-energy can lead with clarity and confidence.

    Start Your Journey with Befriending an ADHD Procrastination Part 

    If you are ready to explore ADHD procrastination and build a compassionate relationship with your nervous system, IFS therapy offers a gentle and effective approach. In Newcastle, UK, and online, I provide a supportive space to befriend your ADHD procrastination part. If you’re curious to find out more and have questions, here are the next steps. 

    1. Book a free 15-minute consultation
    2. Discuss your experiences with ADHD procrastination and what feels challenging and what you’re hoping to get out of therapy.
    3. Begin IFS therapy to slow down your nervous system, befriend procrastination and survival fear parts, and foster calm, clarity, and self-understanding

    Through this work, ADHD procrastination is no longer a source of frustration but an opportunity to connect with your internal system, reduce overwhelm, and create internal emotional balance.

    Read More

    IFS and ADHD, A Compassionate Way of Understanding the Scattered Mind

    IFS and Neurodiversity: Understanding Inner Worlds Through a Neurodivergent Lens

  • IFS Therapy, Chronic stress

    How to Get Out of Survival Mode Through IFS Therapy

    How to get out of survival mode with IFS therapy v1

    How to Get Out of Survival Mode Through IFS Therapy

    Many people live much of their adult lives in a state of constant alertness, exhaustion, and hyper-responsibility. This state, often called survival mode, can feel all-consuming and draining. Learning how to get out of survival mode is essential for reclaiming energy, regulating your nervous system, and building a life that feels safe, balanced, and fulfilling.

    In this post, we’ll explore what survival mode is, the signs that you might be stuck in it, practical steps to move toward balance, and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support this journey.

    What Is Survival Mode?

    Survival mode is a state your mind and body enter when you feel unsafe, stressed, or chronically threatened. It’s an adaptive response designed to protect you from harm, rooted in your nervous system and early experiences. While survival mode can be life-saving in dangerous circumstances, it becomes problematic when it persists long after the immediate threat has passed.

    Survival mode often emerges from:

    • Growing up without a secure base or safe emotional refuge
    • Experiencing abandonment, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving
    • Living with chronic stress or trauma
    • Being in high-pressure environments that trigger hyper-vigilance

    When the nervous system perceives constant threat, it prioritises short-term survival over long-term growth, connection, or rest. You may feel constantly on edge, anxious, or emotionally drained — even when there’s no immediate danger.

    Signs You Might Be in Survival Mode

    Recognising survival mode is the first step toward change. Some common signs include:

    • Chronic anxiety, worry, or a sense of impending threat
    • Emotional exhaustion or burnout
    • Overworking or over-achieving to feel “safe” or validated
    • Codependency, rescuing others, or feeling responsible for others’ wellbeing
    • Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no
    • Trouble relaxing or being present in the moment
    • Difficulty trusting yourself or others
    • Feeling stuck, restless, or unable to enjoy life fully

    If you notice these patterns in yourself, learning how to get out of survival mode can help you regain balance, energy, and a sense of internal safety.

    Understanding the Origins of Survival Mode

    Survival mode is rarely arbitrary. It often develops in response to early relational or environmental stressors. A lack of a secure base, emotional neglect, or abandonment can leave a child feeling unsafe and unprotected. Without a reliable anchor in life, the nervous system remains hyper-alert, and survival fear becomes embedded.

    Growing up in a family with dysregulated or controlling parents can intensify survival mode. Children in these environments often learn that they must adapt to survive. This may involve developing codependent tendencies or fawning behaviors — constantly trying to please, fix, or manage others’ emotions to avoid conflict or danger. These coping strategies may have helped you navigate childhood, but as an adult, they can keep you stuck in survival mode.

    Many adults who grew up in such environments find themselves in relationships where they carry disproportionate emotional labor, try to rescue or fix partners, or become enmeshed in dynamics that drain their energy. Some may even attract partners who are narcissistic or emotionally unavailable, which can further exacerbate stress and keep the nervous system in a chronic state of hyper-vigilance. In some cases, these repeated patterns can contribute to secondary trauma or PTSD, leaving you caught in a web of chronic stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.

    Later in life, these early survival strategies — codependency, over-giving, or hyper-vigilance — often persist even when the immediate danger is gone. Focusing on what you can control — your routines, self-care, boundaries, and enrichment activities — is essential in learning how to get out of survival mode.

    Steps to Move Out of Survival Mode

    Moving out of survival mode is a gradual process that combines practical routines, self-care, and self-compassion. Below are some evidence-informed steps you can implement today.

    1. Create a Routine for Balance

    A daily routine provides structure, predictability, and a sense of normalcy all of which help regulate the nervous system. Start with simple practices:

    • Establish a morning routine: gentle stretching, a healthy breakfast, journaling, or planning your day
    • Set regular times for meals, work, rest, and sleep
    • Include small, achievable goals each day to create a sense of accomplishment

    A consistent routine signals to your nervous system that the world is predictable and safe, which is crucial when learning how to get out of survival mode.

    2. Include Enrichment and Rest Activities

    Many people in survival mode, especially those with ADHD or high-achieving tendencies, push themselves relentlessly. Burnout often results from prioritising work and responsibility over rest.

    Incorporating rest and enrichment into your day is not optional, it’s essential for nervous system regulation. Try:

    • Brief breaks for mindfulness, walking, or stretching
    • Creative outlets like drawing, music, or writing
    • Relaxing rituals like baths, reading, or meditation

    These activities help shift your nervous system into a parasympathetic state, allowing repair, reflection, and replenishment.

    3. Set Boundaries to Reduce Exposure to Stressors

    Learning to say no and setting clear boundaries is vital. Survival mode thrives in environments where you feel constantly responsible for others’ emotions, actions, or outcomes.

    Examples include:

    • Limiting exposure to people or situations that drain you
    • Reducing over-commitment at work or socially
    • Prioritising your own needs before trying to “fix” others

    Boundaries help your nervous system feel safer and signal that your needs matter. Over time, this reduces hyper-vigilance and fosters a sense of internal control, which is a core part of learning how to get out of survival mode.

    What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

    IFS therapy is an evidence-based approach that helps you understand and heal the parts of yourself that are stuck in survival mode. We all have “parts” — inner aspects of our personality that carry fears, beliefs, or protective strategies. Some parts may be hyper-vigilant, over-working, or emotionally caretaking, while others hold vulnerability, fear, or grief.

    In IFS therapy, these parts are approached with curiosity and compassion. Rather than trying to suppress or change them, you learn to build a relationship with each part, acknowledging its role in keeping you safe. This approach is especially useful when exploring how to get out of survival mode, as it helps the nervous system feel understood and supported from within.

    How IFS Helps With Survival Mode

    In survival mode, your nervous system is often on high alert. IFS therapy helps by:

    • Identifying protector parts, like the over-worker, perfectionist, or emotional caretaker
    • Acknowledging exiled parts that feel unprotected, insecure, or unsafe
    • Befriending your nervous system and extending appreciation for how it has been keeping you safe
    • Creating internal corrective experiences where parts can relax, trust, and let go of old survival strategies

    By learning to relate to your internal system with compassion, survival fear gradually softens, and you can start living with more balance and calm.

    Befriending Your Nervous System

    A key part of moving out of survival mode is learning to befriend your nervous system. Your body and nervous system have been working tirelessly to protect you — sometimes through hyper-alertness, over-working, or emotional caretaking.

    Start with small steps:

    1. Notice where your body holds tension or anxiety
    2. Check in with parts that are driving survival behaviors, for example, the over-achieving or rescuing part
    3. Extend appreciation to these parts for their efforts to keep you safe
    4. Invite the nervous system to relax, breathe, and feel supported

    Over time, this gentle approach helps reduce chronic stress and creates a foundation for rest, creativity, and emotional presence.

    Example of a Gentle IFS Process For How to Get out of Survival Mode

    Imagine working with an anxious part that struggles with uncertainty:

    • First, you notice the sensations in your body — racing heart, tight shoulders, or shallow breathing
    • Next, you turn toward the anxious part with curiosity rather than judgment
    • You ask: “What are you trying to protect me from?” and listen to its response
    • You may discover that this part has been keeping you hyper-alert to prevent failure, rejection, or loss
    • You offer compassion, understanding, and reassurance to the part
    • Over time, this part learns that it no longer needs to be in constant overdrive, and the nervous system gradually shifts out of survival mode

    This process can be repeated with other protector parts or exiled parts, such as those feeling unrooted or insecure. The key is patience, curiosity, and self-compassion.

    Moving From Survival Mode to Internal Security

    The goal of learning how to get out of survival mode is not to eliminate caution or reduce your awareness entirely. It’s about helping your system feel safe enough to:

    • Slow down and rest without guilt
    • Set healthy boundaries
    • Engage in relationships and activities from a place of choice rather than obligation
    • Listen to your internal parts and respond with care
    • Build a secure internal foundation that allows confidence, balance, and well-being

    By combining practical steps — routines, rest, enrichment, and boundaries — with internal work through IFS therapy, you can gradually exit survival mode and reclaim a sense of safety, energy, and freedom.

    Start Your Journey Out of Survival Mode

    If you’re ready to explore how to get out of survival mode, IFS therapy offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach. In Newcastle, UK, I provide both in-person and online sessions where you can:

    • Identify and understand the parts keeping you in survival mode
    • Befriend your nervous system and acknowledge your protector parts
    • Build internal security, self-compassion, and balance in your daily life
    • Integrate practical strategies like routines, rest, and boundaries to support nervous system regulation

    You can begin your journey in three simple steps:

    1. Reach out to arrange a free 15-minute consultation
    2. Have an informal conversation about your experiences and goals
    3. Begin IFS therapy to learn how to get out of survival mode and cultivate calm, grounded internal leadership

    With consistent support, patience, and compassionate attention to your internal system, you can move from constant survival to living a life of presence, rest, and balance.